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Showing posts from July, 2022

Song Spell #37 Miles Davis Quintet - It never entered my mind

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 It never entered my mind Level: Beginner Appearance: The caster will close their eyes and their head will squirm like a cramping muscle. A clear liquid will seep from the nose eyes and mouth once the squirming stops.  Effect: It never entered my mind allows the caster to remove memories from their head and distill it into a substance that comes from some of their orifices. Once the caster uses this spell to remove a memory, they no longer know what the memory held unless the clear substance is administered orally. Use of this spell will provide the caster with a warm comforting feeling and peace of mind. The clear substance contains the memory and cannot expire. The memory solution is very useful for transfiguration and alchemy because the substance is neutral, but also provides a simulated effect that creates the exact same physical conditions that a vessel should have when making other substances with specific instructions, making the memory solution an important alchemical tool to

Song Spell #36 Beastie Boys - Sure Shot

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 Sure Shot Level: Intermediate Appearance: The caster will gain a glowing effect on anything they are about to use to propel something whether it’s their hand or a bow.  Effect: Sure, shot allows the caster to conjure 100% accuracy when trying to hit something far away. Regardless of what threw the object, under Sure shots effect it will hit without fail. Astute alchemists will sometimes siphon the otherworldly power of sure shot from the projectile. It is a thin window of opportunity but an object with infinite momentum can be dangerous and lucrative. This spell must be used sparsely otherwise sure shot will not function. Duration: Lasts until the object affected by sure shot is thrown or shot.  Range: Line of sight Type: Evocation and transfiguration Sure shot was a favorite of mine because the beat had such tight composition. The flute and drum loop play off of each other excellently.

Song Spell #35 Santana - Evil Ways

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 Evil Ways Level: Intermediate Appearance: The caster will brandish their finger at the chosen target and speak with a booming voice. They will also burn with righteous red flames. Effect: Evil ways will affect a target mentally, making them reveal an evil plan or deed they conducted previously. They have a chance to stave off the spell, but it will make them explain in detail what made them resign to such evil ways of going about things. If you use it on a person pure at heart, you will be plagued by the effects of the spell, stuck in your own mind, confused and unable to form a coherent thought. It will also make you reveal your evil plan if you fail the same roll that the victims did.  Duration: The spell lasts as long as it takes for the person to explain their evil ways if the spell succeeds, and the victim is unable to stop the psionic effect. Range: Must be within arm’s length of the target.  Type: Illusion I only knew about abraxxas before coming upon this album, an

Song Spell #35 Death - Keep on knocking

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 Keep on knocking Level: Intermediate Appearance: The caster will conjure a wooden club covered in gnarls and coated in bark burls. The caster also gains brightly dyed leather gloves to carry it with. The club makes a deep vibrating noise when it makes contact with anything, along with an echoing clack of the wood.  Effect: The spell makes an indestructible club that the caster can do with what they see fit. The club has abnormally high bludgeoning damage and hits supernaturally hard. The club grants +2 to all uses of it in combat, and regardless of the caster's strength, the club may be wielded and swung with relative ease. This weapon exists only to club, bash, maul, crush, and knock, so simply holding it with nothing to do with it will cause it to vanish. This need to crush is driven by the person wielding the club, meaning that they must choose what they want to destroy to keep the club in their possession. If the club disappears it will not be recast until 2 cycles have passed

Song Spell #34 The Beatles - Nowhere Man

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 Nowhere Man Level: Legendary Appearance: Casting this spell is rather simple, despite it being a legendary spell. The nowhere man comes from nowhere, appearing suddenly in the place where no one is looking. The nowhere man looks different to everybody and doesn’t bear any familiar qualities to his face. The one continuous feature is the lack of any discerning bodily features, and the constant pale white glow of light coming from his entire body, illuminating a featureless torso, and set of limbs. The nowhere man will escape sight the second no one is looking, after he has conducted business.  Effect: The nowhere man can cause things that haven’t happened, create things that don’t exist, and speak things that cannot be understood. His methods aren’t understood outside his guaranteed injection of chaos into any sort of situation he is placed in. Caster's who invoke him do not have any sort of advantage, as the nowhere man will not be readable from a strategic standpoint. He does

Song Spell #33 Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give it away

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 Give it away Level: Beginner Appearance: The caster will drop to their knees convulsing rhythmically to a strange twanging sound coming from nowhere. They will set an object on a surface and the object will explode with flame and smoke. The caster will shine with glimmering silver and catch the orange light of the flame on their body. The object eventually will disintegrate, and the fire will subside. The caster's silver color will dull and fade back to normal.  Effect: Give it away is the mantra of a silver devil in a magical fire pit. This devil requires sacrifice to grant his power to any magic users who seek it. The silver devil determines the nature of acquiring the object that is being sacrificed and uses this scale to grant differing levels of magical power. The list is found below. Found object - Whether it means something to the caster or not, found objects grant +1 dice to initiative in combat, and a guaranteed success for a free action outside of combat. This can be sav

Song Spell #32 Ween - Cold Blows the Wind

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 Cold Blows the Wind Level: Intermediate Appearance: The warrior of camville is very fair and has a light build. They wield a sword and then a great sword, buckler and then a large shield. They have gray eyes and deathly pale skin. They feel as if they are made of loose soil and earthy moss, and when the Camville warrior says anything, they have a peculiar structure to their sentences in some unknown literary format lost to time. Their bones rattle inside their body, and their hair hangs in rivulets, damp with cold. There is a slight veridian tint to the armor of the Camville warrior, but otherwise the armor is dulled and shabby.  Effect: This spell recreates the events of an ancient and tragic parable. The spell is in stages, and each affect the caster as well as people around the caster. The effects are listed below in order. This spell must be a preemptive casting, as the warrior of camville takes hours before they rise. They can be stopped if hit with enough damage, and upon doing

Song Spell #31 Vulfpeck - Fugue State

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 Fugue State Level: Intermediate Appearance: The caster will appear the same after casting the spell. They will say anything and do anything without a shred of who they were before, and will begin to migrate somewhere. When you look at someone under the effects of this spell, the inside of their head will glow with white light and reveal strange images that are relevant to nothing. This is only visible to people who do not wish to harm the person under the effects of Fugue State. Effect: Fugue state allows the caster to dissasociate from themselves for a set time they decide upon when casting the spell. The spell magically ensures that the caster isnt injured when they recover, to the extent of them being immune to any oncoming damage. This immunity manifests as the malfunctioning of whatever is going to directly harm the caster, but potential sources of harm are not thwarted by fugue state. When the duration of fugue state is over, the caster suddenly regains their memory of who t

Song Spell #30 They Might Be Giants - Don't Let's Start

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 Don't Let's Start Level: Advanced Appearance: The caster will place all their focus in a target of their choice. Both of them freeze in place, locked in their own bodies. If you look up close at the eyes of anyone affected by Don't Let's Start, you can see glints and flashes signifying strange movements and shapes.  Effect: The caster can use this spell to remove a target's turn for one round, but the caster must also defer their turn. The caster must be able to completely see the person they use this spell on. Sometimes the instability of this spell will cause a chain reaction, making all participants in the round of combat roll a D10, with 6 or above meaning they keep their turn, 5 or below meaning they lose their turn. If you take a sample of anything from people frozen in this fashion, you will get a wildly unstable temporal substance that generally results in explosions. Duration: Outside of combat, this spell freezes you and another person for 5 minutes.  Ran

Song Spell #29 Dr. Dre - Deep Cover

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 Deep Cover Level: Intermediate Appearance: The caster will not be noticed or seen for the duration of the spell. The caster gains a shadow of themselves that rapidly changes the caster once the effect of the spell activates. The disguises include furniture fixtures that contain the caster, temporary trap doors that look like the floor, clothing that is either familiar or matches the person seeking the caster, or even an intangible ethereal copy of the caster, running away out of sight. The temporary trap doors slowly grow back to the original state of the floor, as well as other physical changes to any structure once the spell ends. Props that the spell creates aside from structural changes remain, but are very fragile and slowly waste away.  Effect: Deep cover acts as a protective mantle that simply conceals the caster in whatever fashion suits their surroundings. This spell is reactionary to people that the caster is trying to hide from, and will activate if the caster is immine

Song Spell #28 Rubba - Way Star

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 Way Star Level: Beginner Appearance: The caster will conjure a small glimmering fragment that lights up the room. The Way star will float around the room and will make quiet sounds that are too inaudible to make out. The way star when it is dispelled will shatter into thousands of tiny pieces and fade into darkness.  Effect: Way Star creates light for the caster, and it will also aid in revealing the way to certain places the caster has already visited. The caster can also ask the Way Star to lead them to their goal. This is a dangerous thing to do, as the Way Star will lead the caster to what they asked, even if it isnt real or contains danger.   Duration: Way star is a passive spell that doesnt require sustained focus from the caster. Way star if not currently being used will passively float near the casters shoulder.  Range: The way star despite its low effort maintenance must remain tethered to the caster, meaning it can only meaningfully travel out at a radius of 30 feet.

Song Spell #27 Toro Y Moi - Still Sound

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 Still Sound Level: Intermediate Appearance: The caster emits a haunting sound that sounds like some sort of unknown instrument. Depending on how the caster utilizes the spell, sound can be seen, and it resembles thousands of oscillating strands that float amidst granular fragments of some unknown substance.  Effect: Still sound has a variety of effects in relation to sound. They are listed below. Still sound can be used to take phrases or prepared sounds and make them activate whenever the caster wishes, with the initial preparation requiring the caster to demonstrate what sound they intend to use later with the spell. Still sound allows the caster to alter the volume and clarity of any sound present and record it in the casters memory to be replayed later. Still sound can affect a specified object by nullifying the objects’ ability to give off sound, making a sound source where any sort of audible noise cannot travel from it but rather exist there as a conduit to absorb sound. This

Song Spell #26 PPL MVR - People Mover

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 People Mover Level: Intermediate Appearance: The caster's hand tenses and arches, flexing the muscles to a frightening tautness. Air ripples from the hand as if immense heat is coming from it. The caster has a booming voice that carries through the air all around. The hand sags like a glove once the spell is finished, but it isn’t harmed. Effect: People mover has 3 uses. The first has the rippling hand lead a group of people from one place to another against their will. The second telekinetically moves a single target anywhere against their will once again. The third allows the caster to propel themselves in a direction effortlessly line of sight. All of these cannot be sustained, as the spell will only function if you have chosen a spot, and the spell will take whoever is affected there.  Duration: People mover lasts as long as it takes to propel yourself line of sight, or as long as it takes for those affected by the spell to move from one point to another.  Range: Line of sight

Song Spell #25 Paul Desmond - The Night Has A Thousand Eyes

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 The Night Has A Thousand Eyes Level: Advanced Appearance: The caster gains deep blue eyes and their countenance will darken as if light has shifted away from their features. Effect: For this spell to function, t he caster must premptively have several small uniform objects such as coins or pebbles. Only 8 are required and no more than 8 can be affected by the spell. Once you have successfully cast the spell on these 8 objects, you can set them in places of your choice. Activating the spell at any point will allow you to view where you placed one of the objects and you can look all around but cannot move. You can hear as well while looking through objects, but its only in short bursts and comes in and out. This may only be done during a sleeping cycle, and if the object is moved, that view will fade away and you will lose the connection to it. The object when being viewed glows with a pale gleam and it slowly turns corresponding to where the person is trying to look while using the

Song Spell #24 Ian Carr - Caliban

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 Caliban Level: Legendary Appearance: The caster will summon Caliban, a golden gargoyle with kaleidoscopic eyes, who will obliterate all the caster chooses with an array of dreadful rays that beam from Caliban's eyes. Caliban has horns all over their body, concentrated on the side of their head and on their arms as well. Caliban speaks with a hypnotic cadence and their voice captivates anyone listening, inspiring allies, and terrifying foes. Caliban is immobile and the caster must choose where Caliban will perch. Caliban shifts through many faces, with each beamsight bearing a new fearsome face. Caliban when dispelled resembles a puzzle of themselves and begins to move and shift until they have totally collapsed in on themselves and disappeared completely from the naked eye.  Effect: Caliban is indestructible and possesses 5 beamsights that they utilize to destroy foes.  A list of the beamsights that Caliban has can be found below: Plasma ray - This beamsight creates a superheated

Song Spell #23 Robohands - Hermit

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 Hermit Level: Advanced Appearance: The caster will slowly change physically, their clothing and overall appearance becoming shabby and gruff. The hermit will carve a hole in a surface and it will create a passage stretching into a pocket dimension. The caster will disappear into it, and the hole will close in on itself until it is a small pinhole in the surface the caster chose.  Effect: Hermit will dilate time heavily once the caster enters the hole. They will find a small cave mouth in the pocket dimension with a beam of light shining in it. You can remain here as long as you wish, with an hour in the real world corresponding to a year in the pocket dimension. You cannot bring anyone but yourself in there, and it will reject anyone you send in instead of yourself. You can do anything in this place, and it will give you more time work after any endeavor you wish. Once you leave the age that you gained will ebb away slowly and will return to the previous point that you entered the poc

Song Spell #22 J-Dilla - Sunbeams

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 Sunbeams Appearance: The caster will form a translucent yellow ball of light and will float it into the air. The yellow ball will send out beams of light that slowly move about the room. The orb when the spell ends cycles through beautiful colors before it fades to dark and then to nothing.  Effect: The beams that come from from the orb removes any sort of gloom or darkness from the room, and create an aura of gleaming particles that emanate from the orb. The beams that project from the orb can be directed by the caster, and if they hit a target, they have a variety of effects. The beams will illuminate the room The beams will heal 1 hp  The beams will scour skin and clothes of dirt and any other murky substance. The beams make the undead grow mounds of moss and dirt to spill out of their orifices. It causes them to slowly lock up until they can no longer move The beams will stave off illnesses temporarily  The beams reveal blood and sweat The beams sear demons and fey The beams purif

Song Spell #21 Santana - Singing Winds Crying Beasts

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 Singing Winds Crying Beasts Level: Advanced Appearance: A billowing gale envelops the caster as he begins to chant the noises of various spirit animals. Many ethereal creatures appear and float around the caster. There are booming sounds of many different creatures coming from nowhere, and a twinkling of metal echoes along with it.  Effect: Singing Winds Crying Beasts does many things, which I will list below: The crying beasts will grab a target and keep them still for their turn.  The singing winds will clear any obfuscating vapors and clean the air of impurities and poisons. The crying beasts will orally recite ancient tales that they have internalized. The singing winds will stagger foes nearby. The crying beasts will perform several ancient hymns and rhythmic songs that raise the party’s willpower magically. The singing winds will swap two participants initiative order by the caster’s choice. Duration: 2 rounds in combat, 10 minutes out of combat. Range: Fills most large rooms, h

The Jackass Megadungeon

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A couple of weeks ago, I decided that it would be a good idea to go back and watch through the jackass movies since I had seen forever in theaters and 4.5 was coming out. Lo and behold, a couple of the films were on netflix and me and my brother decided to watch them again. While watching, I was hit with a lightning bolt of an idea out of the blue. What if all of the stunts in jackass were adapted into rooms of a tremendous megadungeon, with each room containing boneheaded and treacherous obstacles, all named after the stunts. I had to run with the idea, and I decided that I will start to release rooms relatively soon, with some being straight forward recreations of stunts, and others beings strange abstract interpretations of them. This will be in collaboration with my brother, who you will find below: https://systematicrules.blogspot.com/ Full disclosure, some of these stunt names and premises are totally insane. Lots of dangerous and juvenile language ahead. I look forward to trying

Song Spell #20 Butthole Surfers - Pepper

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 Pepper Level: Intermediate Appearance: The caster will conjure the spell, and then only the caster will be able to see the effects of the spell. The main form is visible scent trails emanating from the sources of this spells effect. Effect: Pepper makes the casters nose burn and their eyes water, but they now have a supernaturally good sense of smell, and can catch the scent of more abstract smells. The caster can now smell lies, conspiracy, and any other manner of secrets that people are hiding. The scent will not reveal the nature of it, but rather the presence. They also can see with their nose if its dark, as well as hear and feel. They may only sense these abstract scents with a sample or a sort of clue that the caster finds, or they can directly smell the source if they are near it, and they remain near the source of the smell after a short time. Be wary of chemicals and vapors, as they will have heightened effects on the caster.  Duration: 30 minutes Range: Scents that

Song Spell #19 Budos Band - Budos Rising

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 Budos Rising Level: Advanced Appearance: The caster will evoke the power of Budos, an ancient and renowned magus. Budos will then conjure himself from elsewhere. Budos is suited in golden armor covered in gleaming symbols. He has extremely dry and leathery skin that makes him look like a corpse. His beard acts as a twine that pieces the armor together on his body. Budos speaks with three voices, which were the slain combatants that Budos chose to add on to his already booming voice. Budos wields a magical scimitar that bears three machines on it which are a revolving blade, a pendulum medallion hanging from the pommel, and a pearlescent gyroscopic ball in the hilt. Budos when dispelled creates a blast of stifling air and leaves behind extremely pure sands in his wake. When Budos blocks things he does it magically as well, with his arms coming out of nowhere to block strikes and fading away like a ghost. He also can become ethereal and intangible to rematerialize and strike an oppone

Song Spell #18 Paul Simon - Gumboots

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 Gumboots Level: Beginner Appearance: The caster evokes the spell and their shoes shimmer as if steam is billowing about them.  Effect: The caster now has feet that adhere to surfaces though they must keep one foot on the surface they intend to climb. You may also adhere to a wall at a distance with the boots but be wary of the distance because your flying towards the wall can result in fall damage. Be wary of your own weight it can cause problems while climbing walls. The boots can also telekinetically grab objects if you aim your leg at a loose object.  Duration: 30 minutes duration. Range: Affects the caster, but the boot grab function has a 30 ft range.  Type: Evocation I listened to this song countless times as a kid and know it top from bottom. Paul Simon is very distinct and beloved. 

Song spell #17 Babel Gilberto - Baby

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 Baby Level: Beginner Appearance: The caster will summon a small fleshy speck on the floor. This will change based on the race of the caster. The speck will grow into a crude infant homunculus of the caster. When its killed or uncast, the homunculus will revert into a speck and pop.  Effect: The homunculus will follow any command of the caster. It has half the casters health and skills.  Duration: As long as the caster wishes, or the baby is killed.  Range: Summoning range (reasonably close to the caster) Type: Evocation This song legitimately served as a song that lulled me to sleep as a young child. It’s a wonderful song. Luckily it doesn’t have the sleepiness effect if I’m just passively listening to it. 

Song spell #16 Ween - Spiritwalker

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 Spiritwalker Level: Advanced Appearance: The caster begins to float as if gravity has given out and they slowly become more and more difficult to see until they have faded away. The caster then can see the place they were, but the place is now every distinct appearance of itself all at once since the beginning of its existence. Objects when you aren’t looking at them swap places with other objects, walls crumble and then reconstruct, lights dim and brighten, and the air bears differing smells constantly. In this fluctuating place, spirits can be seen everywhere as shreds of their living counterparts. They could be doing any sort of repetitive motion, remaining totally still, or they may approach and speak to you. The spirits speak with an otherworldly shrillness that makes the casters bones quake with fear. The ghosts have various motives, and some may approach and attempt to do terrible things. When Spiritwalker is uncast the room all about the caster fades to pitch black, and the gh